Sunday, September 14, 2014

Cracked: Bless Their Heart Edition.

Sometimes I talk about how subversive Cracked is.

This is not one of those times.

No take a gander at this.

Come for the massive misrepresentation of Gammergate
(They are aware that it can be both sexist 4chan people *and* corrupt pay-for-play game reports right)?

Stay for the delusional scoffing at gun rights people.


Guys, if you Google long enough you can find a conspiracy theory proving anything -- from vaccines causing autism (CDC cover up!) to the government trying to take your guns (it's Obama and ACORN!).


Conspiracy?   Uh...  the president gave multiple speeches that he wanted an Assault Weapons ban... he lobbied congress to get a bill doing that passed.

How is that a conspiracy?  Or is it not "take your guns" if he simply makes it illegal to buy the most popular rifle in the country?

Oh and you gotta love a guy that writing a "chill out and don't do conspiracy theories"  unironically cites Aljazeera.

No conspiracies there,  good thing he wasn't writing an article about Jews.

Now the Aljazeera piece (which is also about Palestinians helping in Ferguson)  as to why the Tea Party is hypocritical because it didn't send armed militia to Ferguson.  Which is exactly what the cracked article crows about.

Oh and the NRA is at the fault... you know that shooting where the only person with a gun was the cop.

Heckuva job Cracked!

And then there's this.

Ask a fanatical gun nut if, for all their paranoia, they've ever had their weapons physically taken away from them by the government. Those guys sure are silly and deluded, huh?

So there you go. It's only a *real* gun ban if the state rolls around taking them house to house.

Oh the government passes a law making it illegal to buy or trade a very popular type of weapon? You know like the President openly lobbied for.  Well that doesn't *count*.

And apparently,  just because New York and Connecticut went ahead and passed their second Assault Weapons bans, and enacted registration schemes...  

One can't criticize even those laws...  unless you live in those states.

By this man's logic....  
Say Alabama decided to enact an abortion ban.  And they do it by banning women getting their *first* abortions.  If you've had an abortion before the law was enacted then you're grandfathered and can have as many as you like.
Again following this man's logic, first, do you live in Alabama? Oh you don't  then shut-up because you haven't personally experienced it.  And you're just a paranoid.
Oh, you do live there? Well have you personally had your attempt to get an abortion physically blocked by the government?   You haven't. Sorry according to Cracked, it doesn't count.

Oh you have? The cops threw you out of the clinic? Well it's not a *real* ban.   I mean the state isn't going door to door and closing abortion clinics.  Nor are they rounding up women who have had abortions.   They're merely making it illegal for women who have not had one from getting one.


Any sane person would say the law in this hypothetical case would be a blatant abortion ban.
But change it to guns and all of a sudden people hem and haw and go "well, it's not *really* a ban".

No comments: