Cracked "We Don't want to Ban Guns"

Wow....  so this is cracke's edgy new angle on guns.




It's ironic that they talk about "feeling safe" as something on the pro-gun side.  And the whole deodand thing.

Now watch this and you'll readily see why the gun control advocates were so heavily invested in their "every day is a mass shooting!" stat.  And you know for saying that nobody wants to take your guns they seem pretty invested in... getting rid of guns.

There's a reason why they don't talk about what gun control they want.

Remember how recently they had a post on how no one wants to take your guns?

On and the brain trust has just figured out that guns are designed to kill people.

Do tell!

Well at least they didn't go for the "the 2nd amendment only protects militias" argument.

Because that would have been... awkwerd given another article that came out today.

4 Facts Anti-Government Militias Don't Want You To Know

Now sure the article does point out that these groups cherry-pick the laws they object to, and that they don't exactly have a record of... competence.

But it wouldn't Be Cracked if they didn't get in the racism angle
With such gems as:

This information was compiled by the Southern Poverty Law Center, a hate group watchdog working in tandem with FBI investigations. You can't deny that most high-profile cases of domestic anti-government and/or white supremacist terrorism (Ruby Ridge, Waco, Posse Comitatus, Oklahoma City) have happened while a Democrat was in office. It's also not hard to guess why these groups would suddenly surge after the election of an African American president who makes gun sales skyrocket every time he farts.

The SPLC?  Yeah that's a non-biased group.   Wait...  Waco was an example of anti-government and/or white supremacist terrorism?  Uh...  okay...

That's kind of a "wet pavement causes rain" way to look at things.  And Posse Comitatus?  Does the writer mean the Act or the Organization?  And if the organization do they mean the shooting of deputies in 2012?   I'd guess so but there's no source.

And it's funny that in an article about an occupation of a building, as a protest of police abuse there's no mention of Occupy or BLM.

Though the best part of the paragraph is "election of an African American president who makes gun sales skyrocket every time he farts".

Right... those paranoid racist gun owners,  stupidly thinking Obama wanted to ban guns, and then stupidly buying guns whenever he advocates for gun control.  How crazy!

But here's the best part,  after the article goes on about how stupid, racist, and politically biases these militias are but what's the top item?

#1. These Guys Are Absolutely Right To Not Trust The Government

Oh, well then.


But here's the best part, see it's not that the goverment is acutally abusive or dangerous.  Nope it's that these guys are all vets that are ill treated.

Yup!  It's the old "dangerous veteran" chestnut.

With a bonus swipe at gun shows:

 Maybe it has more to do with a system that can spit out someone like a shell-shocked Timothy McVeigh and completely lose him in a sea of gun shows and angry anti-American rants.

Yes... use a guy who murdered people via a giant bomb to take a swipe at gun owners.