Oh Cracked... you just can't help yourself.

Let's look at today's article. 7 Horrible Things You Won’t Believe Have Cartoon Mascots

(Alt title 7-goofy-cartoon-mascots-for-truly-horrible-things)

So either way they're being very clear that these are "horrible things".

Just take a guess at what's #1.

Yup Eddie Eagle.

Keep in mind the Eddie Eagle program is literally:

1) Stop
2) Don't Touch
3) Run Away
4) Tell A grown-up. 

So a program telling kids to run away from guns, explicitly saying "This removes the temptation to touch the firearm as well as the danger that another person may negligently cause it to fire."

Is... well.. .let's see how the article describes it.

That's why the organization has a long history of finding ways to get kids interested in guns from as early an age as possible. Hey, if it's good enough for African warlords, it's good enough for the NRA.

You know... if you were gonna talk about the NRA getting kids interested in guns. There's plenty of other NRA programs to cite.  Maybe not the one that tells kids to Run Away.

Sure, having kids learn gun safety from the NRA is a little like asking Walter White to be a career counselor, but that didn't stop the organization from created their own cartoon mascot to help children swallow their bias:

How much gun safety do the gun control organizations teach?

Here's the thing, though: Eddie is the worst. For starters, his lessons didn't actually work on kids. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, "existing programs are insufficient for teaching gun-safety skills to children" as when they tested a bunch of Eagle Eye schooled kids, none of them knew what to do when around a firearm. It's almost like the solution to protect kids from guns is to not leave guns lying around, a responsibility that should rest squarely on adults, not on schoolchildren and a smarmy cartoon bird. All Eddie seems to achieve with his awareness is to normalize the idea of being around firearms from a young age. 

Yes, parents are responsible, but what if a kid still stumbles on a gun. What should they be taught?
Also the Eddie Eagle program has for parents advice that deals with safe storage.


And hey the article does go onto some other NRA programs are are pretty questionable.

But then... "The same goes for Little Red Riding Hood, who makes great use of the "stand your ground" rule to take on that shifty, vaguely ethnic looking Wolf."

Uh...  huh?

Though a lot of the other mascots for "horrible  things" are....   not smoking,  train safety, anti-public dedication, and uh... fitness.   At least the prison warden and creepy president are mascots for questionable things.  Still...   2 out of 6.


But hey cracked has gotta cracked.